most of you have forgotten who I am by now. I have been pretty disconnected from my website, my blog, the internet…

As you all know I have a family of three children who keep me very busy. I seem to be much busier these days with them, despite thinking that as they got older I would have a little spare time.

My family comes first in every instance. I would have loved to have written in my blog, just for my own medicine, memory and therapy, but there wasn`t a lot of time to do it, so family and my parents took biggest priority. The way it should be.

My Dad has been pretty poorly since February and it has been a long, worrying time for us all. He is still not out of the forest, but with love, healing and a certain, important operation, we hope he will be on his way in a few months time.

We have had our own worries within our family and we are hoping that these things will be coming to an end and waters will be calmer soon.

Music is still my lover but at this time it is like a distant casual-sex partner. We meet up every few nights, make-out and depart. It`s a beautiful time whilst it lasts and then fades.

My aim is to eventually get a trusted musician to work with. It is one of the hardest things. They must be out there, but perhaps I ended my time looking too early. Whichever way, I want and need to find them. I hope the universe hears my calling song.

Love you all. I truly do. I always have plenty of love, despite needing a little bit of it myself when the ends start fraying.

Be bad and I will too and I hope to be in your ears again… this is my dream.

written by Mandyleigh \\ tags: dad, dreams, Family, illness, lover, music, operation, parents

You`re 2 today!

Can`t believe it!

Our ray of gorgeous!

Love you “Little Man”.

Have a great day and remember your curfew!

We`ll have your little birthday party as soon as Pop-Pops is out of hospital.

XXXXXX

written by Mandyleigh \\ tags: birthday, dad, gorgeous, little man, zethy

is in hospital.

Much love.

Much healing.

Much thought.

Love you Dad.

Stay strong Mum. XXXX

written by Mandyleigh \\ tags: dad, healing, Love, mum, thought

Mum and Dad XXX

Lots of love and healing.

So anxious to know how you are but you aren`t back from surgery yet. XXXX

Love from us all. XXXXXX

written by Mandyleigh \\ tags: dad, healing, Love, surgery

Oh man, we tried 9 months to have a baby (sorry for the details folks!) back in 2003 and when we found out, waaah-weeee, the news was just amazing…

Gary and I had been together for a time of 13 years, married for 3 and desperate to extend our love into a bundle of eternal joy. We had a little help, bee pollen… I suggest couples to have a go at this for at least 3 months when trying for a baby, I believe it worked for us and that little touch of “destiny” mixed into the equation.

Gary took this picture of Jez, Pepe and I on our gorgeous holiday in Anglesey. No idea of a

Anyway, I used to check on things each month and I guess this time lost track of my monthly cycle when we went on holiday to Anglesey in Wales. It was a gorgeous holiday, full of the beach, walking, our dogs Jez and Pepe, marmalade (Errr, never ate marmalade as I hate chewing on the orange and lemon bits!), horse riding (errr, after I found out I was pregnant, we found out that one shouldn`t ride when pregnant), and just having a cool time on a beautiful part of Wales.

This is me, on horse, not knowing about a little beautiful visitor in my life...

The only `strange` part of the holiday was that I felt a tad weird and quite a bit tired… Now although I am a nutter (I can hear you all backing me up on this statement, cheers folks!), but I really did feel strange and the sensation I felt in my tummy and diaphragm was very weird indeed! I felt bloated, painy, swollen, crampy and `lifted` (and very uncomfortable) up into the diaphragm area as if I were about 8 months pregnant…

We travelled all day from Anglesey back to home and found ourselves needing some shopping so popped off at Tesco (which is one of the 24 hour stores and my favourite supermarket) and got some supplies. Whilst we were in the carpark, Gary said to me that he thought we should buy a pregnancy test too. Gary doesn`t normally keep in touch with the `monthly` situation so I was very surprised when he suggested this… We bought a test. I said `a` test right?

We soon went on home and of course Mandyleigh was extremely eager to test the waters as it were… Within 2 minutes, we had a result. OH MY GOD, we were having a baby!!!!!

“Gary, this can`t be right… Could you please go to Tesco and get another test, just to make sure…” I asked this as I just believed that my period was late (as usual).

Oh man, this one came back POSITIVE too.

We made that all important phonecall to my parents who slept in the wee small hours here in Perth (we were something like 8 hours behind in the UK). It was about 3-4am. “Mum, sorry to wake you and Dad, but we need to tell you something.” Sleepily Mum said, “You`re pregnant!”

I told Mum that I was expecting my period so didn`t even have a thought of the possibility of falling pregnant (Garys instinct was very good this time though!) and that we had tested positive twice already… She was in the same mind as me and said, “Why don`t you go and get another test and try again in the morning, just to make sure.”

Third test, third time… POSITIVE. I think we didn`t need to be in any doubt now…

This beautiful little creation changed our lives forever…

The proudest parents in the universe, in love with their child...

I wrote this for, and about you in the time I was pregnant, my beautiful Damaris Aubrey Fire Storm…

You (a part from your dad), are everything to me. Having you inside me is the most beautiful thing and our bond and communication is absolutely wonderful. My life got hard with depression for many years and with patience and love from you Dad, Nan and Grandad, I have pulled through. Now my reward is YOU. Thank-you my dear little storm, you are a gift, a treasure, and I love you. I hope to make you proud of me, to be your Mum. I hope you like when I sing to you, talk to you and tap my tummy to you. Life is wonderful with you and this is only the beginning…

Bless you Damaris. Thank-you for being my beautiful ray of life. Nothing has changed… Love you.

written by Mandyleigh \\ tags: 5 year old, aubrey, bee pollen, dad, Damaris, fire, jez, mum, nglesey, pepe, pregnant, Storm