Thank-you so much to all of you who have been leaving your wishes/love to me on having the lump taken out from under my eye. You are all very sweet. XX
Is it always the case that “all good things come to an end?” For sure!
Monday night was a good thing… Our Mojo`s performance was a goody. We all enjoyed it and look forward to the next, but…
Tuesday morning was not such a goody.
We stayed at my parents house after Mojo`s, so as Gary took the car back home to do a couple of things before he then went off to work, the girls, bub, Mum, Dad and I all got ready (me driving my parents car) to make our way to the Fremantle hospital for 10:15am.
The hospital is absolutely pathetic for car parking. So it took quite a while to find one.
If anyone is familiar with trying (and I do say this word quite severely) to find a car park space in an area where it is almost impossible, it is pretty common practise to simply wait until one can obtain one. I wasn`t blocking anyone. I was waiting like the rest. Very patiently too.
We had a call on my mobile at this time from Gary who said that he was also finding a space down the road from us. He said that he wasn`t going into work and wanted to be with me to hold my hand, whilst I had my lump removed. Awww…
I was pleased about this because as you all know my fear of needles… Eeeek!
We proceeded into a particular car park for a second time. We had tried earlier and it was the same story, full.
An arrogant man who needed a good whack upon his crabby face was saying something to me through his darkened window. I reached for the button to the side of me and the electric window slid down. I wanted to see/ask what was up with this guy.
This man was an absolutely, wonderfully rude, arrogant and irritated guy as we all waited for a space. He was complaining that he couldn`t `turn` out of the car park because he had no space to do it, what with other cars coming in and our car there as well. This was bollocks quite frankly. Bollocks = rubbish.
He then went onto saying (in his rude manner) that I was blocking everyone and that he couldn`t get out of the car park. I was baffled by this and asked him, “Can you drive?”
If there is something in life I don`t like, its people being rude and arrogant to me. If a person has something to say, I don`t mind as long as it is said nicely. Otherwise don`t expect to win my respect. It aint gonna happen. 
Anyway this guy was a complete (arse)-sistant to the naughty kingdom. Shame on you!
In all this, the hospital appointment was arriving thick and fast, Mandyleigh would need to relax in the face of “I need another pair of underpants, quick…!” fear when a very up close and personal needle would be pressed into the lump below my eye. The very thought of it makes me weep…
So, Gary met up with us (once the arrogant idiot went on his way) after he and we found a parking and we strolled into the hospital. Yippee!
It wasn`t too long ( I was able to feed Zeth and settle him down so he could feel happy that he had a full tummy) before I was called and went into the eye clinic. The doctor and his assistant (who both got my card within minutes) were nice. He looked at my eye, asked a few questions and said that he would get everything set up ready for the proceedure. How nice of him. 
Gary and I walked into the room that was made “ready”. I was told to lie on the bed and from that point I felt a little more nervous and had thoughts of running… I then kept thinking, “I`ve had three children, this is a breeze!”
Now just to let you know that although I wasn`t looking forward to this (hm, I see a joke here… ), I was less stressed than I actually got because on my previous appointment I was told by a very nice doctor lady (who got my card also. Not sure if I find her as nice now… ) that she would simply pop a “thin” needle into the lump under the eye, clamp my bottom eyelid, make a small incision on the inside of the lid, then get out the cyst and that would be that.
If only it was as nicely simple as all that.
I had solution put around the eye to clean the area after some drops had been put into my eyes. This was fine. I had a piece of (for the want of a better word to find) paper towelling put down on my face with the cut out just for my eye to peer through. Then I saw the needle. It looked a little thicker than thinner at this close distance… He popped it in.
Did I feel it?
Of course I did you nutters!
What a silly question…
Ok, the feelings of “I could just get up and run now…” became more prominent at this point. Again, I stopped this momentarily by chanting to myself… “Think of having the children, wasn`t that so much harder than this..!”
The first bit and the worst bit was over now… Or so I thought… (Referring back to what the first “nice” lady doctor had told me…)
I had two more injections straight into the inside of my eyelid. Charming…
The doctor started to clamp the bottom eyelid. He asked if I felt anything. It felt extremely uncomfortable and not just like the “little bit of pressure” feeling that it was supposed to feel like. It hurt. He said it would need some more anaestethetic, so out came that horrible old damn pin called a needle again. Wam bam inject me sir again.
Starting to see the point? I did very well at this time.
I soon began to feel quite sicky, very hot, strange and claustrophobic. My arms and hands were alight with a kind of buzzing, pulsating, thumping, pins and needly kind of feeling… A kind of tinitus in the arms. Gary was holding my hand (whilst filming) and I had a silly thought that he could feel this. Of course he couldn`t. It was only me who could feel this horrible sensation in my arms and hands.
I told the doctor that I didn`t feel very well. The nurse was called in, she took the napkin off my face, she then put a wet flannel on my forehead and took my blood pressure. She said that was fine. 110. How glorious.
The doctor peered over me and said, “Would you like to do this on a different day when you are feeling abit better?”
I won`t tell you what I actually said within the confines of my own head at that time, but it was a little choice-worded…
I was being brave, I wanted to be brave. I needed to get this lump out and away from hassling my eye, looking like it was swollen and a little anguished each day. It had been there from the first few months of pregnancy with Zeth and just grew.
I was almost “Cry-ing Hard” when my “Deep Sea Greens” were being worked on.
I was really trying to “Let It Go” with the pain and “Go With It”, thinking of nice things, beautiful children, self-hypnosis, healing and “Sunny New Days”.
I couldn`t “Keep The Silence” from letting the doc know that I was in alot of discomfort.
I saw many colours that day and not just “Grey”.
I honestly didn`t know “Which Way” to turn, but you can all be assured that by the end of this day I felt very “Alive”.
Oh man, it was something that I hope I do not have to do again. If so I will run.
Man, I feel so “Numb” after this.
Love you all. XXX
Oh, did we catch up to this arrogant, rude, horrid man…? Yeah we did, we actually parked behind him. We all had a great friendly chat again and I explained to him that he merely acquired his licence from a “weetie” packet. For those of you who are unsure of this, it means he got his licence from a packet of cereal. We have “Weet Bix” over here. He wasn`t best pleased. I`m glad we arse-sisted him on his way.
written by Mandyleigh
\\ tags: alive, cry hard, dad, deep sea green, doctor, eye, fremantle, Gary, girls, go with it, hospital, keep the silence, let it go, mum, numb, sunny new day, which way, zeth
